giving thanks

My grandmother died yesterday, aged 97 years, 2 months, 21 days. Although I wish it was so, that she lived a good, long life does not make her death any easier for those who loved her. She was a true matriarch, our Queen Mum, and to imagine our lives without her presence is still inconceivable.

The past week has brought forth a flood of memories of our time together. Back to the two of us taking the bus to the city for a bit of shopping and meeting my grandfather downtown at Grant's lunch counter. Playing school (she was a teacher for thirty-six years) and her cookie jars that were always well stocked. Her hollow threats to call the police on the rare occasion that my sister, brother, and I misbehaved. ;-) My summer vacations at her house, spent outside playing with the dogs and kittens, sitting on the front porch to clean string beans or husk corn, going for evening walks to visit her neighbors---she lived all but the last three years on the same sleepy street (named after her family) in the same sleepy town. The family dinners, her love of Phillies baseball and bear claws and ginger ale, the way she would always tell me my hair looked strublich ("wind-tousled hair" in PA Dutch).

She lived to see 18 presidents, including Barack Obama (she didn't think much of John McCain---thought he was too old), too many wars, and astounding technological advancements. A few years ago, my parents gave her a CD player, and she thought it was just the neatest thing. She graduated from university when few women had the opportunity to do so, lost one brother in World War II and saw her other wounded twice, and embraced progress like indoor plumbing and modern washing machines. She lived through national women's suffrage, Prohibition, depressions and recessions, the Civil Rights movement, countless medical and scientific breakthroughs.

But beyond just being our touchstone to the past, she was our mother, grandmother, great-grandmother, aunt, and friend. She was a wife, a sister, and a teacher. Like any life well lived, hers was full of ups and downs, joys and tragedies, memorable days and thousands more that were simply ordinary. She was a smart, proud, funny, generous, imperfect woman with a tremendous gift of gab---we used to tease her that she would never die because god wanted a bit of peace and quiet in heaven for a little while longer. ;-)

Because of Grandmom and the way she lived her life, 97 doesn't seem old to me. And I realize what a gift her example has been to me, to all who knew her. Too many people still think of those her age as frail, senile, sick, perhaps smelling of liniment, and waiting to die---until a week ago, my grandmother was none of those things. She was so busy, it was almost impossible to get her on the phone. And when my husband and I last visited with her in October, she was already planning for this day, showing us a stuffed turkey toy she was going to give to my niece on Thanksgiving.

This Thanksgiving has not been an easy one for me, but I am forever thankful for the countless gifts my grandmother gave me. For was not the original spirit of this day borne as a celebration of life.

hasta pronto,

mylifeinspain

Comments

[MaliceMax]

Sorry to hear of your loss, it is hard when you lose someone you love. I lost my beloved father recently and there isn't a day goes by I don't think of him.

I think they way to look at her passing in relation to Thanksgiving is exactly as you said in your last paragraph..... have the celebration of her life for the beautiful person and spirit she was :)
Warmest regards
Mal :)

[mylifeinspain]

Thanks for taking the time to read and leave a comment. And my condolences to you as well.
BR,
mylifeinspain

[Terry]

How wonderful for you to be blessed with such an amazing woman in your life,though of course that does'nt make your loss any less.
My condolences to you and your family.

[Becky H.]

What a lovely tribute to your grandma!

[Gretchen]

Rachel my dear -- so sorry for your loss of your dear Grandmom, but what a poignant memoir of your time with her. I often reflect that all we really have (since the best things in life are not things) are these experiences with each other, and through those, with the world. paz y amor, querida amiga
Gretchen (finally getting around to reading after all these years!)

[Account Deleted]

Oh so sorry about your Grandma. Both of mine died a few years ago, and I was heartbroken both times.